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An Ode of English Plurals<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 From Davya Cohen<\/span><\/p>\n
\nWe\u2019ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
\nBut the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
\nOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
\nYet the plural of moose should never be meese.
\nYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
\nYet the plural of house is houses, not hice.<\/span><\/p>\nIf the plural of man is always called men,
\nWhy shouldn\u2019t the plural of pan be called pen?
\nIf I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
\nAnd I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
\nIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
\nWhy shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?<\/p>\n
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
\nYet hat in the plural would never be hose,
\nAnd the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
\nWe speak of a brother and also of brethren,
\nBut though we say mother, we never say methren.
\nThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
\nBut imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s face it, English is a crazy language.
\nThere is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
\nNeither apple nor pine in pineapple.
\nEnglish muffins weren\u2019t invented in England.
\nWe take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
\nWe find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
\nAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.<\/p>\n
And why is it that writers write but fingers don\u2019t fing,
\nGrocers don\u2019t groce and hammers don\u2019t ham?
\nDoesn\u2019t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
\nIf you have a bunch of odds and ends and
\nGet rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?<\/p>\n
If teachers taught, why didn\u2019t preachers praught?
\nIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
\nSometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
\nShould be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.<\/p>\n
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
\nWe ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
\nWe have noses that run and feet that smell.
\nWe park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
\nAnd how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
\nWhile a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?<\/p>\n
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
\nIn which your house can burn up as it burns down,
\nIn which you fill in a form by filling it out, and
\nIn which an alarm goes off by going on.<\/p>\n
And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother\u2019s not Mop?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
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Loch Striven<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Have you had both Jabs?\u00a0 If not why?\u00a0 What are you waiting for?\u00a0 You will not be admitted to Ceilidh Dances unless you have had 2 jabs of the approved vaccines – NEXT CEILIDH DANCE IS ON NOVEMBER 26, 2021 which is JUST UNDER 2 weeks from now.<\/span><\/p>\nMay your troubles be one, may your blessings be more,
\n<\/strong>and <\/strong>may nothing but happiness come through your door.<\/strong><\/p>\nDuncan MacKenzie
\n<\/strong>ceilidh@rscdsvancouver.org\u00a0<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Laurieston Castle GREAT NEWS\u00a0 – The Ceilidh Dance on November 26 is on – yes it is going ahead so get ready to join in some\u00a0 fun exercise to the great music of Calanais.\u00a0 Some 605 days after the last Ceilidh Dance on February 28, 2020 we are going to meet again on November 26, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-13800","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vancouverceilidh.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/13800","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vancouverceilidh.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vancouverceilidh.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vancouverceilidh.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vancouverceilidh.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13800"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.vancouverceilidh.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/13800\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13852,"href":"https:\/\/www.vancouverceilidh.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/13800\/revisions\/13852"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vancouverceilidh.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13800"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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