Skye
I would normally be writing to remind you of the Ceilidh dances. The one scheduled for next Friday has been cancelled and the one at the end of April is on hold for now but check the ceilidh website – www.vancouverceilidh.org – for updates.
I thought, instead of that I should send a cheery note as most of us are housebound. So here is a newsletter with nothing but pictures, jokes and videos. I hope it finds you all well and that this will lift your spirits.
Dumbarton Bridge
Honey and Cinnamon
Honey is the only food on the planet that will not spoil or rot. It will do what some call turning to sugar. In reality honey is always honey. However when left in a cool dark place for a long time it will do what I rather call “crystallizing”. When this happens I loosen the lid, boil some water, and sit the honey container in the hot water, turn off the heat and let it liquefy. It is then as good as it ever was. Never boil honey or put it in a microwave. To do so will kill the enzymes in the honey.
Ladhope golf course near Galashiels
Maybe the news is old, maybe they are not keeping a social distance but the theme hits the right note.
What was once a windmill and Peniel Heugh monument near Jedburgh
They had too much time on their hands!!
Leith
This is funny – only the British can do this with such a straight face.
http://videosift.com/video/The-Greatest-Show-On-Legs-The-Naked-Balloon-Dance
River Morar
Every magician likes to involve a pretty girl in his magic tricks but it’s not often that the pretty girl is also a magician herself. This magic duo performs a stunning illusion during the World Magic Awards in 2009 that will leave you wondering exactly how they pulled this trick off.
http://biggeekdad.com/2011/08/double-fantasy-magic-duo/
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Small-Isles-ferry-passes-the-Point-of-Sleat-lighthouse-on-the-Isle-of-Skye-with-the-Cuillins-in-the-background
This is definitely a must watch. This is one of the coolest things I have seen !
The guy working this Marionette is awesome !
http://www.youtube.com/embed/kPvciIdDZAE
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Just in case someone out there can use them, I am about to throw out audio cassette tapes (remember them?) of Scottish Country dance music by various bands. There are 150 of them including music for the dances in RSCDS books 1 – 39. They come in 2 cases (120 + 30). I no longer have a cassette deck and they are free. If interested contact me at 604-536-9481 or send me an e-mail to duncanmackenzie@telus.net
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies, “I have a question to ask you, but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there is nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me.
“She responds,”Well, let’s see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I”m single and I’m Catholic!”
“OK” the Nun says, “Pull into the next alley.”
The Nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?”
Forgive me but I’ve sinned. I lied. I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun says, “That’s OK, my name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party.”
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Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head.”
“Yep,” he replied. “That’s why I’m dumpin’ it here, ’cause it says: ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage.’ “
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Glengarry
A Police STOP at 1:00 AM
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.
The man replies, “I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body.”
The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?”
The man replies, “That would be my wife.”
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Burghead harbour
It is not clear if the boys survived their mother’s wrath
Click here: Biertijd.com // Media » Tablecloth Trick
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As Others See Us.
There were the Scots
Who kept the Sabbath
And everything else they could lay their hands on.
Then there were the Welsh
Who prayed on their knees
and their neighbours.
Thirdly there were the Irish
Who never knew what they wanted
But were willing to fight for it anyway.
Lastly there were the English
Who considered themselves a self-made nation
Thus relieving the Almightly
Of a dreadful responsibility.
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I would like to share an experience with you; it has to do with drinking and driving.
As you may be aware, some of us have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from a night out. Well I for one have done something about it.
The other night I was out for dinner and drinks with friends. After having far too much to drink, and knowing full well I was wasted, I did something I’ve never done before, I took a bus home.
I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before.
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Loch Lubnaig
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A young man learns what’s most important in life from the guy next door.
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Over the phone, his mother told him, “Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is
Wednesday.”
Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering
his childhood days.
“Jack, did you hear me?”
“Oh, sorry, Mum. Yes, I heard you. It’s been so long since I thought of him. I’m sorry, but
I honestly thought he died years ago,” Jack said..
“Well, he didn’t forget you. Every time I saw him he’d ask how you were doing. He’d
reminisce about the many days you spent over ‘his side of the fence’ as he put it,” Mum told him.
“I loved that old house he lived in,” Jack said.
“You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a
man’s influence in your life,” she said
“He’s the one who taught me carpentry,” he said. “I wouldn’t be in this business if it weren’t for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important…Mum,
I’ll be there for the funeral,” Jack said.
As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr.
Belser’s funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of
his relatives had passed away.
The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house
next door one more time. Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It
was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture….Jack stopped suddenly…
“What’s wrong, Jack?”his Mom asked.
“The box is gone,” he said
“What box?” Mum asked.
“There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he’d ever tell me was ‘the thing I value most,'” Jack said.
It was gone.
Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.
“Now I’ll never know what was so valuable to him,” Jack said. “I better get some sleep. I
have an early flight home, Mum.”
It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. “Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days,” the note read.
Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. “Mr. Harold Belser” it read. Jack took the box out to
his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack’s hands shook as he read the note inside.
“Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It’s the thing I valued most in my life.” A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved: “Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser.” “The thing he valued most was…my time”
Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days.
“Why?” Janet, his assistant asked.
“I need some time to spend with my son,” he said. “Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!”
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,”
Think about this. You may not realize it, but it’s 100% true.
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Lochnagar
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Some fun and interesting sites: – note if you have a link to something you think others will enjoy send me the link. Sound on, full screen:
Brandy or whisky?
Clydesdales in Canada
Protect your valuables
Good police work
Shortages??
New Zealand Hakka v Scots
As it says men in kitchen
Man showing the woman how to do it
to sort the squeak
Interesting life
Irreverent monologue
This is happening at a street corner near you
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London – Waitrose grocery store vegetable counter – 1 potato left
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Loch Brora
After being married for thirty years….a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her slowly…then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I,J, K.”
She asks….. “What does that mean?”
He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.
She smiled happily and said….”Oh, that’s so lovely.…. What about I, J, K?”
He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”
His eye is still swollen….but it will get better….
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Loch Broom
I saved the spring pictures until the end as it is coming as is victory over the virus. There may be some hard times still to come but nothing we can’t handle. Check on your neighbours, friends and those in need. A kind word will help their troubles. There is much to be thankful for and we have so much that we can give in support.
Hope you enjoyed this newsletter. Take care and be safe, I miss you all.
May your troubles be one, may your blessings be more,
and may nothing but happiness come through your door.
Duncan MacKenzie
ceilidh@rscdsvancouver.org