Loch Tarff
Continuing on with the theme of the last newsletter here is another cheery note to try to brighten your day. So here is the 2nd Special Edition with nothing but pictures, jokes and videos. I hope it finds you all well and that this will lift your spirits.
Thanks for all the great comments I received after the last newsletter. The first special edition was opened by 250 addresses which was great. It is nice to hear from you all as I miss the interaction with everyone. The pictures I included this time are of early spring in Scotland.
Thanks to those who continue to send jokes, videos, etc. without which these newsletters would not be the same.
Achamore Gardens on Gigha
Did I read that sign right?
In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
Appin
It might be old but it is worth repeating.
The Symbol of Scotland
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2U5lA49eEo
Arran ferry arriving at Brodick
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG. AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.
Aylth the new bridge
Hidden messages;
Do you see the arrow between the second “E” and “x”?? I had never noticed this before.
2nd and 3rd “t’s” are two people sharing a tortilla over a bowl of salsa.
Ayr – new bridge
Probably the world’s most famous bike race. The “R”? in “Tour”? is a cyclist – yellow circle front wheel of bicycle.
Arrow probably means Amazon has everything from A to Z?
There is a sideways chocolate kiss between “K” and “I.”
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Balvaird Castle
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.
Notice in a farmer’s field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK).
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Just in case someone out there can use them, I am about to throw out audio cassette tapes (remember them?) of Scottish Country dance music by various bands. There are 150 of them including music for the dances in RSCDS books 1 – 39. They come in 2 cases (120 + 30). I no longer have a cassette deck and they are free. If interested contact me at 604-536-9481 or send me an e-mail to duncanmackenzie@telus.net
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Interesting encounter – I would still be frozen to the spot.
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Ben Loyal and the Kyle of Tongue
| As we progress through this pandemic, I want to thank you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery. I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel. I can’t sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed. I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one’s nose. Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years. I can’t touch any woman’s handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public toilet. I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS for the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I can’t have a drink in a bar because I fear I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone. I can’t eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers. I can’t use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer buy petrol without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up. I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer. AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life. I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down. I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan .. THANKS TO YOU I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt. AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can’t ever pick up a 25 cent coin dropped in the parking lot because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over. I can’t do any gardening because I’m afraid I’ll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off. If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. Tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour’s ex mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend’s beautician . . Oh, and by the way…..A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late. P. S. I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. Out of the toilet. NOW YOU HAVE YOURSELF A VERY GOOD DAY… 😉 |
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Blackrock Cottage, Glencoe
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Forgetter Be Forgotten?
My forgetter’s getting better,
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke
For when I’m ‘here’ I’m wondering
If I really should be ‘there’
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven’t got a prayer!
Oft times I walk into a room,
Say ‘what am I here for?’
I wrack my brain, but all in vain!
A zero, is my score.
At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!
When shopping I may see someone,
Say ‘Hi’ and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, ‘who the hell was that?
Yes, my forgetter’s getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it’s driving me plumb crazy
And that isn’t any joke.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Flash mob
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=GBaHPND2QJg&feature=youtu.be
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Some fun and interesting sites: – note if you have a link to something you think others will enjoy send me the link. Sound on, full screen:
Budweiser ad
Pepsi ad
some positive thoughts
The window cleaner
Amazing grace
Magic trick revealed
Black Box Generated View of Flt. 1549 landing in the Hudson
This is amazing…computer generated from the black box information…
In the Hudson River !
Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Caledonian canal
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There will be some hard times still to come and many more events cancelled but with all our support and prayers we will overcome it all. Check up on your neighbours, friends and those in need. A kind word will help their troubles. There is much to be thankful for and we are blessed. I hope you are all well and if not get better soon. I would love to hear from you – drop me a line at duncanmackenzie@telus.net
Hope this newsletter brings a smile to some faces. Please forward it to all your friends. I am about to try to devise a dance for 2 people keeping a social distance. Maybe I will make a video and include it in a future newsletter!!
Take care and be safe, I miss you all.
May your troubles be one, may your blessings be more,
and may nothing but happiness come through your door.
Duncan MacKenzie
ceilidh@rscdsvancouver.org