Skip to main content

Ceilidh Newsletter – 2020/21 #4

Of course this Friday’s dance on November 27 has been cancelled along with those on January 29 and February 26.    

Updates will be announced if there are any changes or more cancellations.  It does not look good for the rest of this season but I am loath to announce the cancellation of the whole season of Ceilidh dancing.  I will leave it open for the very faint possibility of dances in March and April.  In the meantime be kind, calm and safe.

To celebrate St. Andrew’s Day (Nov 30) and Scotland qualifying for the European Cup

Amazing Grace – Flower of Scotland Gaelforce Orchestra Play the Melodies of Scotland

I mentioned St. Andrew’s Day and it reminded me of an upcoming lecture for which I was sent the following:

Just a reminder to join us for SFU’s Centre for Scottish Studies’ St. Andrews and Caledonian Society Lecture by Dr. Leith Davis on Nov. 30, 2020, 7:00-8:15: “What News”: 18th-Century News Media and the 1715 Jacobite Rising in Cultural Memory

The lecture will take place remotely. Instructions for viewing are copied below.

  1. Please email before Nov. 30 to attend.
  2. On the afternoon of Nov. 30 (approximately 4:00 pm), if you have RSVP’d you will receive an email with the zoom link. You do NOT need a zoom account to participate.
  3. There will also be instructions in the email you receive about an email address to contact in case of difficulty.
  4. Simply click on the link after 6:40 p.m. on Nov. 30, and you will be able to access the talk. (The link will be active starting at 6:40 p.m. on Nov. 30, but not before).
  5. Your microphone will stay muted during the talk, but afterwards, we welcome you to type comments or questions into the “Chat” box.
  6. The talk will also be recorded.


I have more or less completely recovered – any lingering soreness is likely due to age and not the fall.  I am very fortunate when I compare my minor accident to all those who are suffering from abuse, Covid, war, etc.  We really should all thank our lucky stars and be more appreciative of what we have.  On to a cheerier subject which is the object of this missive,

The impressive “Quiraing” – Isle of Skye

We did not get even one trick or treater so we are slowly munching through the mini mars bars and other goodies we bought.  Not so good for the bella figura but very yummy!

It is the month of rain and leaves.  Margaret says they will all be down by November 15 but I think it will be the 30th or later.  We have been brushing, raking and occasionally blowing all month.  The leaves can stay on the soil as mulch but the cedar is not so good, I think it is more acidic.  There are still leaves on the wisteria (which has climbed way up onto our neighbours cherry tree), a maple and the magnolia as well as various other bushes etc. so we will have more to clean up for a while.  The fuchsias are still going strong, well two of them are, the others I have cut back ready to try an winter over.  There is lots more work to do in the garden but the weather is not conducive to gardening and I am lazy!

I still manage to go for a short walk most days, between showers, but otherwise we mostly stay home in our nice warm house – another thing for which to be thankful.  We watch TV in the evening – mostly British shows, the odd film and of course, when it is on, tennis.  I also watch some rugby and soccer.


Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning:

“Windows frozen, won’t open.”

Husband texts back:
“Gently pour some lukewarm water over it.”

Wife texts back 5 minutes later: 
“Computer really screwed up now 

Peterhead harbour looking doubly good

A young man named Fred received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad
attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with
profanity.  Fred tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by
consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything
else he could think of to clean up the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, Fred was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled
back. Fred shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude.
Fred, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in
the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and
screamed.  Then, suddenly there was total quiet.  Not a peep was heard
for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, Fred quickly opened the door to the
freezer.  The parrot calmly stepped out onto Fred’s outstretched arms and
said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and
actions.  I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and
I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable

Fred was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in
his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey
Merry Christmas  and enjoy your turkey dinner!          



A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.” The older doctor says, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you’ve been eating and see if that does the trick?”

As they left, the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine that woman?  How’d you come to the diagnosis so quickly?”

“I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what probably was making her sick.”

The younger doctor said “Pretty clever. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll try that at the next house.”

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn’t have the energy she once did and said, “I’m feeling terribly run down lately.”

“You’ve probably been doing too much for the Church,” the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.”

As they left, the elder doctor said, “I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, she’s very active in the church, but how did you arrive at it?”

“I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the priest under the bed.”



In  Florida , an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days.  He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days.  The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.    The case was brought before a judge.  After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, “Case dismissed!” 

The lawyer immediately stood and objecting to the ruling saying, 
“Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case?  The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others.
   The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays…”            

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, “But you do. Your client, counselor, is woefully ignorant.”            

The lawyer said,” Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists.”            

The judge said, “The calendar says April 1st is April Fool’s Day. Psalm 14:1 states, ‘The fool says in his heart, there is no God.’  Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore,
April 1st is his day.
       Court is adjourned..”

You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!       

Wicked Willy (R4x32)  Alastair Fraser And Muriel Johnstone   Just As It Was 2


I received to following e-mail request:


Here’s a math trick that really works.

It will take you approximately ten seconds and, amazingly, it will reveal your all-time favorite movie. I did it in my head, then on paper, and finally on a calculator just to confirm my mathematical calculations. Each time I got the same answer, and sure enough, it is my very favourite movie…EVER! DO NOT cheat. DO YOUR math, THEN compare the results on the list of movies at the bottom. You will be AMAZED at how scary true and accurate this test is:

  1. Pick a number from 1-9.
  1. Multiply that number by 3
  1. Add 3.
  1. Multiply by 3 again.
  1. Your total will be a two digit number. Add the first and second digits together to find your favourite movie (of all time) in the list of 20 Movies, below.

Movie List:

  1. Gone With the Wind
  1. ET.
  1. Blazing Saddles
  1. Star Wars
  1. Forrest Gump
  1. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
  1. Jaws
  1. Grease
  1. The Donald Trump Resignation Speech
  1. Casablanca
  1. Jurassic Park
  1. Shrek
  1. Pirates of the Caribbean
  1. Titanic
  1. Raiders of the Lost Ark
  1. Home Alone
  1. Mrs. Doubtfire
  1. Al Jolson Story
  1. Wizard of Oz

20.Singing in the Rain


… Now, isn’t that something?



Findhorn Rail Bridge


Glen Coe Lochan


For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.  One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.  Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.   Furthermore, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write ‘Spaghetti’ on the back.  He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.  ‘Honey, she said, ‘you received a very strange post card today.’

‘Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,’ he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:







Three with meatballs,

two without.


Send extra sauce!


Laurieston Castle

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!
Can we uninstall 2020 and reinstall it again?… I think it has a virus …

After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my house but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasn’t the reason.

Where is your next travel destination?
– Las Kitchenas;  – Los Lounges;  – Santa Bedroomes;  – Porto Gardenas
– Los Bed;   – Costa del Balconia;   St Bathroom;  – La Rotonda de Sofa

You’re not stuck at home, you’re safe at home. One word can change your attitude and one cough can change your life.

2020 is a unique Leap Year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 5 years in April.

Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to prevent COVID-19 but to stop eating.

If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face.

This cleaning with alcohol is total baloney NOTHING gets done after that first bottle.

Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?

Whoever owes you money, go to their house now. They should be home.


Some fun and interesting sites: – note if you have a link to something you think others will enjoy send me the link. Sound on, full screen:

Follow the directions!

You have just gotta try this!!! Make sure you look at the image for a full 30 seconds before looking at your hand!   Have fun!

Okay, this is downright weird. Don’t be suspicious, nothing is going to jump out or scream at you. Just follow the instructions. Wait the entire 30 seconds.

1.- Open the link
2.- Then “click me to get  trippy”,
3.- Look at the center of the screen for 30 seconds, and then.
4.- Look at your hand holding the mouse, without moving it away from the mouse.


(It is no joke, it is called “cenesthetic hallucination”)

I have maybe sent this before.

Click Here ——->  Ventriloquist

I think I also sent this before but it is worth repeating

Every magician likes to involve a pretty girl in his magic tricks but it’s not often that the pretty girl is also a magician herself. This magic duo performs a stunning illusion during the World Magic Awards in 2009 that will leave you wondering exactly how they pulled this trick off.

Check this out… its just fabulous…great story and soul stirring sound. You’ll want to jump off your chair and applaud at the end!

This is a magnificent bagpipe presentation in Dunblane Cathedral. Dunblane is the home of the world’s #2 tennis player, Andy Murray!

. Check out this video on YouTube:  – Massed Pipes & Drums – Opening march-in only at Edinburgh Tattoo of 2013

The following three items are just for fun.

Very helpful Italian lady

Self explanatory

It is not by Robert Burns


Unless you seen it before you will not get the answer



A tribute to Sean

Do not forget your mask

How to draw up a will.

Church bell ringer in Banff


Loch Tarff

Harold & Roger, two Newfie Engineers, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.  A woman walks by and asks what they were doing.
‘We’re supposed to find the height of dis here flagpole says Harold, but we gots no jesus ladder’

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole on the ground.  Then she took a tape measure from her purse, took a measurement and proudly announced ‘twenty one feet, six inches’ and walked away.

Roger just shakes his head and laughed, ‘ lord tunderin Harold, just like a woman, we want the height and she gives us the godamn length’.

Stac Pollaidh

Waltz Country Dance Jim Lindsay & his Scottish D. B. – Scottish Christmas Dance Party

All events have been cancelled or postponed but you should check first.  Check up on your neighbours, friends and those in need.  A kind word will help their troubles.  There is much to be thankful for and we are blessed.  I hope you are all well and if not get better soon.  I would love to hear from you – drop me a line at

It is great to hear from you thanks to all who sent me e-mails telling me of yourselves and how you are coping.

Hope this newsletter brings a smile to some faces.  Please forward it to all your friends.

Take care and be safe, I miss you all, but we’ll dance again.

Falls of Rogie

May your troubles be one, may your blessings be more,
and may nothing but happiness come through your door.

Duncan MacKenzie