NOTICE RE CEILIDH DANCES:-
The Ceilidh dances on January 29 and February 26 are cancelled.
Updates will be announced if there are any changes or more cancellations. It does not look good for the rest of this season despite the arrival of vaccinations but I am loath to announce the cancellation of the whole season of Ceilidh dancing. I will leave it open for the very faint possibility of dances in March and April. In the meantime be kind, calm and safe.
Boston Two Step – Jim Lindsay & his Scottish Dance Band – Christmas Party
2020 HAS COME DOWN TO THIS…
- The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.
- 2019: Stay away from negative people.
2020: Stay away from positive people.
- The world has turned upside down.
Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!
- This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog. It was obvious she thought her dog understood her. I came into my house & told my cat. We laughed a lot.
- Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well.
- This virus has done what no woman has been able to do. Cancel sports, shut down all bars & keep men at home!
- I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
- I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I’m getting tired of the Living Room.
- Appropriate analogy. “The curve is flattening so we can start lifting restrictions now” is like saying: “The parachute has slowed our rate of descent, so we can take it off now.”
- Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask & asking for money.
- The spread of COVID-19 is based on 2 things:
- How dense the population is.
- How dense the population is.
Mountains of Lochinver
I really appreciate the e-mails you send giving some suggestions and comments about the newsletter. They make all the time it takes to put together the newsletters worthwhile – Thank you very much.
Glen Affric at sunrise
We have raked up most of the leaves now – then BC Hydro came by and trimmed the cedar etc, at the front so that it was well clear of all the wires running up the street. It was pouring and the crew made an attempt to clear up but they left a lot of small branches etc. so this morning I was out, after my walk, to clear them up. They nearly filled a large green bin!
We got our overseas Christmas cards mailed on December 1 and the Canadian were mailed on last weekend. What a price for postage even though I buy the international stamps and add them at the post office to avoid the GST – what we Scots will do to save a few cents!! I delivered some local – White Rock etc. – yesterday while Margaret played bridge online then in then afternoon we walked down to Crescent Beach and hand delivered a few more. We still have some to deliver but the majority are gone. Of course I still have to send you all one from Ceilidh dancing but that will not be for a few more days yet.
We tried to cut down our list and e-mail people rather than mailing but somehow it is not the same and in this time of restrictions many people appreciate getting something tangible. I hope those who did get our card by e-mail understand,
An Irish Joke…..
Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was . . . a donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:
“Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”
“And the best of the day te yerself . This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann’s Catholic Church. There” is a donkey lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o’yer lads to take care of the matter?”
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the Irish accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, “Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”
There was dead silence on the line for a moment . . . . . . .
Father O’Malley then replied:
“Aye,’ tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.”
Edward I of England comes to Scotland to conquer the Scots. He brings 4,000 men with him. As he nears the battlefield, there suddenly appears a solitary figure on the crest of the hill. A short, ginger-haired guy in a kilt.
‘Come up here, ya English bastards, and I’ll give ye a hammerin’!’
Edward turns to his commander. ‘Send 20 men to deal with that little Scottish upstart, he says.
The commander sends twenty of his best men over the hill to kill the Scotsman
Ten minutes later, at the crest of the hill, the little Scot appears again. ‘Ya English diddies!’ he yells.’Come on the rest of ye!! Come on, I’ll take ye all on!’
Edward is getting somewhat annoyed. He turns to his commander. ‘Send 100 men to kill that little shite!’
The commander sends 100 men Over the hill to do the job.
Ten minutes later, the little Scot appears at the top of the hill once more, his hair all sticking up, his shirt a wee bit torn. ‘Ya English SCUM!’ he yells. ‘I’m just warming up!! Come and get me, Ya English shites !!’
Edward losses patience. ‘Commander, take 400 men and personally wipe that little bastard off the face of the earth!’ he yells..
The commander gulps, but leads four Hundred men on horseback over the crest of the hill.
Ten minutes later, the little Scotsman is back. His clothing is all torn, his face is covered in blood, Snot and Irn-Bru. ‘Is that the best ye can do??? You’re bloody WUMMIN!!! Come on!! Come and have a go, ya bunch of English Shites!!!’ he yells.
Edward turns to his second in command. ‘Take 1,000 men over that hill and don’t come back till you’ve killed that little red haired bastard!’ he commands.
The second in command gathers the men and they ride off over the hill to their fate.
Ten minutes later, one of the English troops appears back at the top of the hill. covered in blood, his clothes all torn off his back. ‘Your Majesty!’ he yells. It’s a trap!!!
There’s two of them!!!’
He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.”
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome“It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of BA’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a £5 million remodeling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!”
“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I bet you didn’t get to see the Pope.”
“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me”
“Oh, really! What’d he say?”
He said: “Who the F#%* cuts your hair?”
THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A GLASGOW GIRL …
Three friends married women from different parts of the world…..
The first man married an Indian. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Glasgow . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he passes water.
Canadian Barn Dance – Jim Lindsay & his Scottish Dance Band – Christmas Party
sit back and ENJOY the world Well some of it!
I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS….YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE TO GET ON A PLANE AGAIN…….. Mesmerizing!!! This is just fantastic.
Pick out any interesting location around the world and click on it. A page will come up with a photo. In the centre is a circle with a triangle.
Click on the triangle. Now you get a full picture. If it’s not a full screen, click on the 4 dots in the lower right corner.
Now with full screen, place your curser anywhere on the screen and slowly drag the picture in any direction you want. Left, right, up, down, slow or stop.
Try the Egyptian Pyramids in Egypt or Moscow, Kremlin to get started.
This is a one e-mail you will want to save.
Panoramas and 3D Tours of the Most Beautiful Places Around the World! Click on the below City Names & Enjoy !
Victoria Falls, Zambia • Venezuela, Surroundings of Angel Falls, Venezuela • Angel falls, Venezuela • Kalyan Minaret, Bukhara, Uzbekistan • Miami, USA • Las Vegas, USA • Lake Powell, USA • Manhattan, New York, USA • Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, USA • Millennium UN Plaza Hotel, New York, USA • Oahu, Hawaii, USA • Las Vegas, Nevada, USA • Millennium UN Plaza Hotel, New York, USA • Golden Gate Bridge, USA • Statue of Liberty, New York, USA • Manhattan, New York, USA • Hollywood, California, USA • San Juan and Colorado rivers, USA • Goosenecks, Utah, USA • Mono Lake, California, USA • Millennium UN Plaza Hotel, New York, USA • Chicago, Illinois, USA • Los Angeles, California, USA • Kiev, Ukraine • Ay-Petri, Ukraine • Dubai, UAE • Dubai, Islands, UAE • Palm Jumeirah, Dubai, UAE • Bangkok, Thailand • Sankt-Moritz, Switzerland • Cape Good Hope, South Africa • Cape-Town, South Africa • Moscow, MSU, Russia • Moscow, Kremlin, Bolotnaya Square , Russia • Moscow, Russia • Moscow Kremlin, Russia • 55.748765;37.540841, Russia • Moscow City, Russia • Kremlin, Moscow, Russia • Moscow City, Russia • Trinity Lavra of Sait Sergius, Russia • Saint-Petersburg, Russia • New Jerusalem Monastery, Russia • Saint Petersburg, Russia • Novodevichy Convent. Moscow, Russia • Ramenki,Moscow, Russia • MKAD, Moscow, Russia • Moscow, Russia • Moscow, Russia • Krokus Expo Center, Moscow, Russia • Moscow Region, Russia • Moeraki Boulders, New Zealand • Fiordland, New Zealand • Nepal, Nepal • Maldives, Maldives • Kuala-Lumpur, Malaysia • Grimsvotn, Iceland • Amsterdam, Holland • Neuschwanstein Castle, Germany • Egyptian Pyramids, Egypt • Hong Kong, China • The Iguassu Falls, Brazil • Twelve Apostles Marine National Park, Australia • Sydney, Australia • Buenos Aires, Argentina •
Forgot My Glasses
Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn’t do something useful with my time. Talking about my “doing something useful” seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was “only thinking of me” and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I told her that I had joined a parachute club.
She said, “Are you nuts? You’re almost 72 years old and you’re going to start jumping out of airplanes?” I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.
She said to me, “Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club.”
“I’m in trouble again, and I don’t know what to do… I signed up for five jumps a week.” I told her. She fainted.
Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.
EVER WONDER –
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff??
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel. Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist.
They put up a sign reading: “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors”. The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
So, the docs changed it to read: “Schizoids and Hemorrhoids”. This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign. “Catatonics and High Colonics” – No go.
Next, they tried “Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives” – thumbs down again. Then came “Minds and Behinds” – still no good.
Another attempt resulted in “Lost Souls and Butt Holes” – unacceptable again! So they tried “Analysis and Anal Cysts” – not a chance. “Nuts and Butts” – no way. “Freaks and Cheeks” – still no good. “Loons and Moons” – forget it.
Almost at their wit’s end, the docs finally came up with: “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones – Specializing in Odds and Ends”.
Everyone loved it.
Irish Jigs – Jim Lindsay & his Scottish Dance Band – Christmas Party
Some fun and interesting sites: – note if you have a link to something you think others will enjoy send me the link. Sound on, full screen:
Gianluca Ginoble Age 14 , Piero Barone Age 15 , Ignazio Boschetto Age 14
A good message for everyone
a commercial for glasses
Mrs. Brown gets the tree lights working
Quarantine edition of Les Mis
Commercial courtesy SNL
A Night at the Opera
Christmas lights with a difference
Mrs. Brown in quarentine
You might like the photograph – and story –
Sound of Mull
Irish Reels – Jim Lindsay & his Scottish D. B. – Scottish Christmas Dance Party
All events have been cancelled or postponed but you should check first. Check up on your neighbours, friends and those in need. A kind word will help their troubles. There is much to be thankful for and we are blessed. I hope you are all well and if not get better soon. I would love to hear from you – drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org
It is great to hear from you thanks to all who sent me e-mails telling me of yourselves and how you are coping.
Hope this newsletter brings a smile to some faces. Please forward it to all your friends.
Take care and be safe, I miss you all, but we’ll dance again.
Carse of Gowrie
May your troubles be one, may your blessings be more,
and may nothing but happiness come through your door.