This is interesting but it last nearly 7 minutes so if you don’t have time come back to it-

The Ceilidh dances on January 29 and February 26 are cancelled.    

Updates will be announced if there are any changes or more cancellations.  It does not look good for the rest of this season despite the arrival of vaccinations but I am loath to announce the cancellation of the whole season of Ceilidh dancing.  I will leave it open for the very faint possibility of dances in March and April.  In the meantime be kind, calm and safe and keep your arm clean ready for the vaccine.

Hogmanay Jig  Marian Anderson & her Band  Highlander 12

If you were around in 1919 and came upon the following poster…

I mean,
Wouldn’t you just keep drinking?


Loch Arklet boathouse

Thanks for the many e-mails you sent with good wishes – they are much appreciated.  They prove that at least some people are enjoying the newsletters.

Hoy Hills from Harray Loch, Orkney

It seems that quite a few of the cards we sent to the UK have still not been delivered.  They were mailed in November.  I suppose the Post Office, like many other places, is undermanned due to Covid19 as well as cutbacks and added to that there was an increase of Christmas mail this year.  Likewise there are a few friends in the UK that we have not heard from that usually send cards.  Looks like Christmas may well stretch beyond 12th night!

Took the Christmas tree down today and carefully packed up all the ornaments, baubles etc.  Unplugged the outdoor lights but I will wait for dry day to take down all the strings and put them away.

I looked back into my library, 7 or 8 years ago, for much of the content of this newsletter.  Many of the jokes, stories etc I have included in previous newsletters but I feel they are good enough to print again.  Most of them were sent to me by some great contributors and I thank them though there names will remain anonymous.  I hope you enjoy the newsletter and it brings a little sunshine to these hard times.

Old Bridge at Carrbridge – wouldn’t like to drive a car over it!!!


An elderly Scotsman man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled  the aroma of  scones wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death’s agony,  he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favourite scones.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted Scottish wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in crumpled posture.  His aged and withered hand trembled as he reached towards a scone at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly

smacked by his wife with a wooden spoon ………

 “Get lost”  she said, “they’re for the funeral!”

A tree made of creels at Ullapool

A new teacher was trying to make use of her
Psychology courses. She started her class by
saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’
After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said,
‘Do you think you’re stupid, Larry?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to
see you standing there all by yourself!’


Gordon Street, Glasgow


This looks like so much fun.

I loved this!!! And we spend a small fortune on expensive instruments………..

This is something you don’t see every day.   Nice to see kids away from their computers.  They do this flawlessly and take great pride in what they have accomplished.  That’s the kind of fun kids are supposed to have . . . working together.

Notice: the 600 students are clean-cut looking, and obviously well-disciplined to carry out this routine….very impressive.  Click the following….

Caledonian Canal with Ben Nevis in background

They were together in the House.

Just the two of them.

It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance….and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm.

Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out…. She screamed..

He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.

He didn’t hesitate to pull her into his arms..

He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back.

He was surprised when she didn’t resist but instead clung to him.

The storm raged on….

They knew it was wrong…

Their families would never understand… So consumed were they in their FEAR that they heard no opening of doors…

just the faint click of a camera……


Loch Lomond


1 * Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully… It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5 * If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Ben Lui

Hoe Down Reel   Music Makars

6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8 * Never buy a car you can’t push.

9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.

10 * Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 * Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.

Eildon Hills

13 * When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

17 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.


19*Save the earth….. It’s the only planet with chocolate!*


His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman’s sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

‘I want to repay you,’ said the nobleman. ‘You saved my son’s life.’

‘No, I can’t accept payment for what I did,’ the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer’s own son came to the door of the family hovel.

‘Is that your son?’ the nobleman asked.

‘Yes,’ the farmer replied proudly.

‘I’ll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he’ll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.’

And that he did.

Farmer Fleming’s son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary’s Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman’s son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time?  Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill … His son’s name?

Sir Winston Churchill.



If you think lawyers don’t have hearts. Read on.

The Salvation Army realized that it had never received a donation from one the city’s most successful lawyer. So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.
The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, “Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don’t give a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give something back to your community through the Salvation Army?”

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, “First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?”

Embarrassed, the Salvation Army rep mumbles, “Uh… No, I didn’t know that.”

“Secondly,” says the lawyer, “did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?”

The stricken Salvation Army rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.

Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister’s husband died in a dreadful car accident leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?”

The humiliated Salvation Army rep, completely beaten, says, “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

And the lawyer says, “So, if I didn’t give any money to them, what makes you think I’d give any to you?”

— I have questions!

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?

If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mail men can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?


Dean Castle Country Park



Royal Exchange Square, Glasgow

March, Strathspey, Reel – John Ellis & his Highland Country Band  — A Reel Kick


Some fun and interesting sites: – note if you have a link to something you think others will enjoy send me the link. Sound on, full screen:

It does the heart good


If you haven’t seen this before….it’s pretty cool. I hope it works for you….

 Can’t believe how much work went into this!
Just click on the square for the song complete with the original video!!!!

This will keep you occupied for hours.


Ice dance Scotland


For those of us challenged by new technology


You want to watch this again


Senior at firing range


Non verbal teaching




What is home without a mother


The future is here


Original version of Auld Lang Syne. I would have liked to have watched the entire show.


What to do with all these bills – cute

What To Do With Your Bills11



Gaelic Waltz – John Ellis & his Highland Country Band  –  A Reel Kick

ll events have been cancelled or postponed but you should check first.  Check up on your neighbours, friends and those in need.  A kind word will help their troubles, maybe some home made soup or baking?  There is much to be thankful for and we are blessed.  I hope you are all well and if not get better soon.  I would love to hear from you – drop me a line at


A couple were having dinner one evening   when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said, “Beth, soon we will be   married 30 years, and there’s   something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me ?”

Beth replied, “Well Charles, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I’ve been unfaithful to you 12 times during these 30 years, but always for a good reason.”

Charles was obviously hurt by his wife’s confession, but said, “Beth, I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by ‘good reasons’ ?”

Beth said, “The very first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn’t pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended ?”

Charles recalled the visit to the banker and said, “I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time ?”

Beth asked, “And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn’t have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed ? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge.”

“I do recall that,” says Chuck. “And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. But those were two very extenuating circumstances”, It’s hard for me to believe that there could have been so many other reasons for you to be unfaithful” !

“All right,” Beth said. “So do you remember when you ran for President of your golf club, and you needed 10 more votes ?”


It is great to hear from you – thanks to all who sent me e-mails telling me of yourselves and how you are coping.

Hope this newsletter brings a smile to some faces.  Please forward it to all your friends.

Happy New Year, I miss you all, but we’ll dance again post vaccine.


May your troubles be one, may your blessings be more,
and may nothing but happiness come through your door.

Every good wish for the New Year,

Duncan MacKenzie