The next Ceilidh dance is on Friday April 29, 2022.  Do try to come along and bring lots of friends.  We really need a big attendance in order to try and recoup some of the losses we ran up during the Covid pandemic.  Word of mouth is still or best form of advertising so would you all talk it up please.

Da Rain Dancing      Keith Smith & Muriel Johnstone      Delaware Valley

Ullapool harbour

We are looking forward to a fantastic crowd on April 29 when we will hold the next Ceilidh Dance.   Please come and support this Ceilidh dance and join in a safe evening of fun and good healthy exercise.

RSCDS dance classes are starting up again but check the website for the various dates for the different clubs –

The 2021/22 season for Ceilidh Dances are scheduled (all on Friday evenings) as follows:-

April 29, 2022

We have also booked the hall for the next season:

September 30
October 23
November 25
January 27
February 24
March 31
April 28

Mark your calendars now!

The dances will be will be held at the Scottish Cultural Centre, 8886 Hudson Street, Vancouver but, there is a slight change of time.  The class will be held in the large hall from 7:00 – 7:45 then we will all exit to give the band a chance for a sound check etc. and the dance class will run from 8:00 – 10:30 with live music by Calanais.  Alison will continue to be your teacher/caller so you are guaranteed to have a great evening.  No change to the admission – still $15 with students $10.

Let us all hope that the dances will not be interrupted by anything and we will have lots of dancing and fun again.  Any questions?  please contact me –


View from Lyle Hill Greenock.



Enjoy this remarkable artwork in the making:


It is still too cold to get plants for the garden.  Margaret tells me it needs to be a minimum of 10C at night but I still bought a few last week.  My son tells me I will need to bring them inside at night or I might lose them but so far soo good.

I had, for me anyway, major dental surgery last Thursday and it is still bleeding but of course this is a holiday weekend so I cannot contact the surgeon until tomorrow.  Unfortunately I have managed to bleed on the bedding.  I am trying to bite on tea bags which is supposed to aid in clotting but I am taking blood thinner so that adds to the problem.  No doubt it will all work out and all will be well but for now I am living on yoghurt, ice cream and cool this soup.  I missed out on Easter food.

Update:  I went in to the see the dental surgeon on Tuesday.  He had Covid so was not there!  His assistant and receptionist, with help for the surgeon on the phone, did their very best to stop the bleeding to no avail.  After about an hour of working on my mouth I was feeling rather groggy and my heart beat got very low so they called an ambulance.  I got a 2 block ride, including a U turn on Broadway, to VGH where I received excellent, though painful, care from a dentist and a dental specialist.  It took another hour or more for them to stop the bleeding.  Fortunately I had driven to my son’s house and he had taken me to the dentist.  He got to spend the whole day with me as he drove me home and returned to Vancouver by bus – it was his birthday!!

I am fine now – no more bleeding though my mouth is still very tender and I have to live on liquids and soft food for a few more days.

Arran from Bute.
In order to keep the Ceilidh Dances running it takes a number of volunteers to do various jobs such as: –
  • getting the liquor licence
  • re-stocking the supply of drinks and refreshments and getting them to the hall
  • Filling the water jugs before and during the dance
  • Collecting the entrance fees, keeping track of the number of dancers, reconciling the funds collected, adding the donations, paying the expenses
  • Calculating the cost of the drinks used 
  • Etc.
  • Etc.
These duties are not necessarily for one person.  Is there anyone who would like to volunteer to help at the Ceilidh dances?   If so please send me an email –

Playing Cards

The Chinese invented playing cards in BC 1000. Some interesting facts
and observations about playing cards:

Did you know that the traditional deck of playing cards is a
strikingly coherent form of a calendar?

There are 52 weeks in the year and there are 52 playing cards in a deck.

There are 13 weeks in each season and there are 13 cards in each suit.

There are 4 seasons in a year and 4 suits in the deck.

There are 12 months in a year so there are 12 court cards (Those with
faces namely Jack, Queen, King in each suit.)

The red cards represent the day, while the black cards represent the night.

If you let Jacks = 11, Queens = 12, and Kings = 13, then add up all
the sums of 1 + 2 + 3 + … to 13 = 91. Multiply this by 4, for the 4
suits, therefore 91 x 4 = 364, add 1 that is the Joker and you will
arrive at the number 365 being the days in a year.  Add one more for a leap year.

Is that a mere coincidence or a greater intelligence?

Of interest is the sum of the letters in the names of the cards, e.g.,
add up the letters in “one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
nine, ten, Jack, Queen, King” and they come to 52!

The Spades indicate plowing or working.

The Hearts indicate love thy crops.

The Clubs indicate flourishing and growth.

The Diamonds indicate reaping the wealth.

There is a deeper philosophy than just merely playing cards.

The mathematical perfection is mind-blowing.


That is what there extra screws were for —







Yacht racing off Helensburgh.


Knapdale Hills, Ardrisaig


Reel of the Puffins     Jim Lindsay and his Scottish Dance Band      Reel of the Puffins


Abbotshaugh Footbridge Falkirk



How far away do you think this might be?


Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Strathmore near Eassie Angus


Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a phone camera these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.


How Do You Separate Egg Yolks?

Well, you have been doing it …”WRONG”

Try this new method. It’s easier and faster……………..


If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?


Tarbert, Loch Fyne


A police motorcycle officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real bar steward, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!

So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms. The tirade goes on without the officer saying a word.

When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an “AH” in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the ‘violator’ for his signature. The bloke signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the “AH” and demands to know what it stands for. The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember that you’re an arsehole.”

Two months later they’re in court. The ‘violator’ has a bad driving record and he has a heap of points and is in danger of losing his licence, so he hired a barrister to represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light. Under cross examination the barrister for the defence asks;

“Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?”

The police officer replies: “Yes, sir, that is the defendant’s copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.”

Barrister: “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don’t normally make?”

“Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an “AH,” underlined.”

“What does the “AH” stand for, officer?”

“Aggressive and hostile, Sir.”

“Aggressive and hostile?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Officer, are you sure it doesn’t stand for arsehole?”

“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.”


the Paps of Jura from the Island of Danna.


The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town.  Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was  marrying a ‘mail order’ bride.   Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.

Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new  bride to be.

Tom proudly said, ‘She’ll be twenty-one in November.’

Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual  appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year- old  man.   Wanting his old friend’s remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully  suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out  on  the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.

Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again.  ‘How’s the new wife?’, asked the banker.

Tom proudly said, ‘Good – she’s pregnant.

The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued,  ‘And  how’s the hired hand?’

Tom said, ‘She’s pregnant too.”

Don’t ever underestimate old guys .



Three Sisters in Glencoe


Note that this boy is blind…….   

This 10 year old boy from Romania makes the judges cry. Now you have to remember he doesn’t speak English. What a talent.



Miss Johnstone of Ardrossan      Keith Smith & Muriel Johnstone    Vintage Goldring




Elgin High Street


A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day,  to be
 confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

‘Good  morning,’ said the young man. ‘If I could take a couple Minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners…

‘ ‘Go away!’ said the old lady. ”I’m broke and haven’t got any money!” and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door And pushed  it wide open… ”Don’t be too hasty!” he said.  ”Not until You have at least seen my  demonstration.”

And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her Hallway carpet.

”Now, if this  vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this Horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat The remainder.”

The old lady stepped back and said, ”Well let me get you  a fork, ’cause they cut off my electricity this morning.”

Elgol Beach, Skye

NEXT CEILIDH DANCE IS ON April 29, 2022 which is 1 week away!!  Get busy and alert all your friends and acquaintances.

May your troubles be one, may your blessings be more,
and may nothing but happiness come through your door.

Duncan MacKenzie