Loch Lochy
It is just over a week until the next Ceilidh Dance on Friday, February 24th and I hope you are all planning to attend. We had a good attendance at the January dance so maybe we can beat that if you all bring a friend. You all know what a fun night it is and it is pretty reasonable too at $15 or students $10 plus refreshments for a donation.
Ceilidh dances are held in the Scottish Cultural Centre, 8886 Hudson Street, Vancouver. There is a free class at 7 pm then the dance follows from 8 – 10:30 pm with live music by Calanais. All easy dances that are taught and called and everyone has lots of fun and great exercise. Tell your friends and make it an outing – it only costs $15 ($10 for students) and there are refreshments (including cider & beer) for a donation. Remember it is “cash only” both for admittance and the refreshments. Mark your calendars now and make plans to join the fun.
Scottish Country dance classes have started up again so check which classes fit your schedule and come along – many first nights are free – check out the new beginner class on the North Shore.
Here is some cheery upbeat Scottish Dance music to enjoy.
The Spring Fling Reel Scott Band & his Scottish Dance Band RSCDS Book 50
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Hospital Chart Bloopers
(Actual writings from hospital charts.)
1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
Sunset in Stromness Orkney just as the ferry was heading out into rough seas towards Hoy
I spent all day last Friday in the garden clearing leaves, twigs and winter detritus from a small section. I filled 3 large green bins and no one would notice the difference – but I was tired and sore. It was a nice day and not to cold. The main problem is the bending down and straightening up again. I ended up on my hands and knees but there is still the problem of getting up! I have started to cut the many ferns we have but the area I was working on has just a few of them. They require getting right down to make sure you don’t cut the new fronds.
I did 4 or 5 hours more on Monday and now I can hardly move! What I’ll be like at dance class tonight goodness knows. I filled the last green bin before they were all emptied then I filled one more. This time I worked on the boulevard on Cedar Drive so I got to rest and talk to neighbours, dog walkers etc.
The next thing on the RSCDS calendar is the Love to Dance Workshop and Dance which is also held at the Scottish Cultural Centre on March 4 with two great teachers – Rebecca Blackhall-Peters and – plus music for the dance by Mary Ross. Prior attendance at Scottish Country dance classes is required. Registration at www.rscdsvancouver.org
The secret little waterfall on Bennachie in Aberdeenshire that takes a bit of effort to find. Sometime in the past a small lookout had been built and then forgotten about
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
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The 2023 season for Ceilidh Dances are scheduled (all on Friday evenings) as follows:-
2023
February 24
March 31
April 28
September 29
October 27
November 24
Mark your calendars now!
The dances will be will be held at the Scottish Cultural Centre, 8886 Hudson Street, Vancouver. The class will be held in the large hall from 7:00 – 7:45 then we will all exit to give the band a chance for a sound check etc. and the dance class will run from 8:00 – 10:30 with live music by Calanais. Alison will continue to be your teacher/caller so you are guaranteed to have a great evening. No change to the admission – still $15 with students $10.
Help us spread the word – I am not into social media but I am sure somebody can promote the Ceilidh Dance(s) there for me especially out at the Colleges and Universities. Tell all your friends to come along – it really is a fun (and cheap!) evening.
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A woman and her ten year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.
“Mom” said the boy, “what are all those women doing?”
“They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work,” she replied.
The taxi driver turns around and says, “Geez lady, why don’t you tell him the truth? They’re hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money.”
The little boy’s eyes get wide and he says, “Is that true Mom?”
His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers “yes.”.
After a few minutes, the kid asks, “Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?”
“Most of them become taxi drivers,” she said.
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Gravity in the World’s Biggest Vacuum Chamber. Physicist Brian Cox visits NASA’s Space Power Facility in Ohio to see what happens when a bowling ball and a feather are dropped together under the conditions of outer space.
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, “My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,” he announced triumphantly, “And she turned into a telephone pole!”
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?”
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw up.”
A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?”
“No..How could he with just two worms.”
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, “We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?”
One child blurted out, “Aces!”
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
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Here is another tune;
Snowsdrops in the Glen Ian Muir Sound Glasgow 90th Anniversary
I think you may be interested in the following post:
The secret diary of Sir Boyd Tunnock, aged 90 and 11 days
You may have seen this before but it is worth a second viewing.
If you get a smile out of what little kids say, you will like this one.
Maybe even a laugh.
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New look shopping
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand.
Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, “Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.”
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies,
“Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?”
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies,
“In Jenny’s room. It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.”
Mr. Smith says with a huge grin,
“Okay, then how will you live? You’re not old enough to get a job.
You’ll need to support Jenny.”
Again, Bruce instantly replies, “Our allowance – Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That’s about 60 bucks a month, so that should do us just fine.”
Mr. Smith is impressed that Bruce has put so much thought into this.
“Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?”
Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, “Well, we’ve been lucky so far.”
Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little s— is adorable.
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16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size Thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
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May your troubles be one, may your blessings be more,
and may nothing but happiness come through your door.
Duncan MacKenzie
ceilidh@rscdsvancouver.org